The reason of your anger

I now understand better your anger my dear

this anger that you started directing at me

once you dared to accept and express it

You were angry because you felt I rejected part of you

part of our love

You felt I did not embrace you physically

could not do it

and that stirred the deepest pain in you

the pain of rejection

and to protect yourself you drew from the well of anger

and built a shield around you that you slammed in my face

you invented all sorts of reasons and motives

that you shouted at me and convinced yourself with

but deep down you knew the truth

you knew that had I come closer to you

and hugged and kissed you

you would have melted between my arms

It was an embrace you desired more than anything else

my embrace

and I could not, did not want, to give it to you

and you were too proud to ask me

too proud to be so vulnerable with me

and so you slammed your doors

and barricaded your windows

and decided to push me far, far away

where by removing me from your eyes

the hurt would be less intense, the pain would lessen

But pushing me away was even worse

as in addition of the piece of love I was depriving you from

you deprived yourself of another piece of this love

and you felt a heart-wrenching pain inside

but your consolation was that I would feel the same pain

I would feel your pain, your pain at being rejected

and I would understand

and one day I would come back, changed, metamorphosed

my fears dissolved in the air

my arms and my legs stronger

my heart firmer and truer

and then I would take you home

This anger we felt, we both didn’t know how to use it

as we were fooled by the depth of our pain

We did not realize that anger was never meant to be used against our counterpart

at the contrary this anger was a tool, an instrument

to protect one another, a shield to raise around us

between us and pain, between us and doubt, between us and fear

and now at last we understand that

we understand our heart was never meant to contain walls

was never meant to know division and strife

and anger can be used to push away all negative emotions from our soul

and come closer and closer in the safety of orchards and gardens

in a twilight sky, and join hands and embrace

a full embrace without fear

as we both feel entirely seen, entirely accepted for the first time

and we feel more loved and cherished and freer than we have ever been