Revealing my guilt

You have accused me

and revealed my guilt to everyone around

you have shown my true tyrannic face to the world

you have highlighted the harshness of my heart

the thickness of my masks

and the lies and manipulations I made use of

You have unmasked me

dishonoured me

I cannot continue to reign over this falling nation

you have won at last

and today I abdicate

I want no longer to govern and control

and hurt other people

I wish to lead a quiet, retired life

meditating in front of nature

and letting my love for you grow in my heart

During all my life I have repressed my love

I have treated you with harshness

I have mocked you and scorned you

but deep down the pain in my chest was as great as yours

deep down I longed for your words and your smiles and your caresses

and now you have decided to turn against me

I have decided to let go of everything else

and become yours

It will take you time to pardon me

months, years, lives

you will torment me as much as I have tormented you

you will stab me again and again

and slap me with an iron hand on the face

until I bleed and split blood

and still you will strike me again

because that’s what I did with you

and I will continue to show you

the nakedness of my heart

the depth of my love

until perhaps one day

in centuries and centuries and millennias

you can pardon me and love me again

as completely as you used to

as purely as I will have learnt to love you

and meanwhile I will gladly take

the blows I deserve

one after another after another

you will destroy me many times

and the pain will only deepen

my love and my gratitude for you

until you let me kneel in front of you

and ask you to pardon me all my faults

or to take my life away

This moment has now arrived

have I been brave enough

to redeem myself in your heart

is my soul pure enough

is my shine beautiful to your eyes

or do you still see my ugliness

and you still want to condemn me

and slice my heart in small pieces

The choice belongs to you my dear

and I shall kneelingly submit to your judgement

Kill me

Or save me

and love me as I love you