Intimidated

You used to intimidate me

as I saw you riding your horse

proud and tall and firm and strong

launching me glares

and telling me you did not care

But now I can see the truth beyond

I can feel how much you cared

how much my lack of attention hurt you

and how all you longed for was this love

as I did too

I used to treat you with deference or confrontation

as a highness to respect and fear

or an immature girl to scold

but never before did I find the perfect balance

of equality, where you are not riding a horse

but walking by my side, as you have been all along

where you are not proud and haughty and detached

but as sensitive and caring as I am

where I am not the last of your preoccupations

but the first one, close, so close to your heart

that it brings up a lot of fear to drown in a feigned indifference

but when you did, the barbed wires around your heart

bit at your flesh and you bled and you felt the pain

and you continued, as I too was hurting myself and you

just as much as you did

and now, only now, do we understand that happiness

lies far away from hurt

and that if we wish to merge, body and heart and spirit

I must think of you as another me

as the girl of my dream who entirely understood me

who felt what I felt, and whose thoughts were a continuation of mine

This is who you truly are

and this is how I am finding you again in the emptiness you left

you secretly yearn for the same things as I do

and my words touch you in the deepest place

when this beacon of light directs my hand and my heart

and when I treat you not as someone to scold or to fear

but as the angel of my dreams to share everything with