Revenge

I am revolted by your behaviour, lady of Ychrentiyë

do you think it fine to trample me

because I have expressed my feelings for you

and showed myself in all my vulnerability

How can you take my support for granted

in all the wrongs you are committing

You do not even bother to explain to me

the reasons for which you are acting in this way

when you know I would lend you a compassionate ear

and I would help you stop spinning this evil thread you have started

My love for you is endless and boundless

and even if you kept on ignoring me for the next hundred years

I would still cherish the true you in the depth of my heart

but you must know that inside of me two persons dwell

just like two persons dwell inside of you

and sometimes you hurt me so deeply

that you knock out the true me

and then another cold and fearful individual

takes the reins of my body

and that person is just the mirror of who you appear to be

to those who don’t know you as well as I do

this person has no love to warm him or guide him

I am scared that someday somehow you will make of me what you have become

I do not want to be a cold heartless monster

I do not want to kill and ravage

I do not want to let go to all my instincts

I do not want to resemble you

and yet I feel this part of mine stirring more and more

this part that wishes to destroy everything since it cannot love nor be loved

this part that whispers to me you do not respect me because I am weak

and if I started behaving like you, I would gain your respect and your love

and if you still were willing to ignore and disrespect me

then this part of myself whispers that I could seek revenge

and put an end to all in a bath of blood

This is the inner battle I must each day fight, my dear

and you are not at all helping me with it

I must lend my strength and my will to my true self

while keeping the shadow at bay

I must continue to find beauty in myself and in you

not to founder into the same folly you have embraced

And here I give you an edge against me

I give you the keys to destroy me as you are destroying the land

that is how far goes my foolishness of loving you against yourself

where you have embraced darkness out of fear

I have embraced love, and each day of my life I will keep hoping

that you finally see the light that humbles your heart

and dissolves the mask of harshness and hate that has hardened on your face

I beg you my dear, to let these words seep within

let them dent at the walls you have built

let them bring some warmth to your shivering heart

and retrieve this love of me you have once felt and then lost

retrieve this love of yourself you believe cannot exist anymore

love does not bear a hardened mask as yours

love is merciful and does not seek revenge

trust to love my dear, once in your life listen to the whisper of your heart

 

 

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. You will also come across many paintings by Chantal Peguiron that are intimately related to my artwork. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. If you like it, don’t hesitate to subscribe and follow me on social media! May you have an inspiring visit!

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