Rock bulb

Rock face

You were born under a rock

and from there you sensed the world

and you felt your spirit sprout

forming leaves and branches in the open air

After a long while

you felt like experiencing the real world by yourself

and feel the wind on your own skin

You left part of your soul in its original bulb

and moved another part of your consciousness

into the trees that were taking root there

For the first time you saw

how the sea and the mountains looked like

you had so much heard of colours

but until the explosion of colours

that almost blinded your eyes in awe

you knew not what colours were

As the time elapsed you grew

into your knowledge and your wisdom

and you discovered other rocks

that bore a soul in their bosoms

and you tried blowing your breath on them

and watch as their first sprout started to form

you grew attached to them and breathed on them every day

your breath of light and colours and life

impatient to have new companions with you

And one day you wondered if there wasn’t another soul

which had taken care of your first sprouts

like you were doing for the young rock bulbs

you tried to continue to take care of your offspring

but after a while you could not focus any longer on them

and you decided to go look for whom you considered to have given you the life

but, your roots went deep into your original rock and you wondered how you’d be able to move

however at the same moment you formed that resolution

your body took a new form, and many of your branches started moving at your own command

later you’d discover that your trunk had split in four to become paws

and many of your boughs had become wings and feathers

and when you moved, all your body moved at once and you discovered you were no longer tied to your rock

you bid her farewell and left, reeling and walking before taking your first flight

you discovered parts of the world you had never imagined existed

you came as close as you could come from the sun and the moon

and you flied over the mountains and you explored foreign lands where so many creatures different from the rock bulb lived

along your path you met many other birds and animals and human beings

you tasted so many different fruits and drank the water of mountain and plain springs

you landed into cities and sometimes you were welcomed as a divinity or a saviour

and other times you were received with a volley of arrows and you had to flee otherwise one would pierce through your heart

you continued flying, looking for him or those who had taken care of you when your had first sprouted into the world

you asked for them, but the indications each creature gave you were contradictory

you continued erring aimlessly, now weary to fly, until you met a tree on a mountain top

and as you felt a certain familiarity with the tree, you landed on one of its boughs

but as you landed there, you found a man living underneath the tree

and you understood your bond was not with the tree but with the man

“What brings you in this disconsolate part of the world, oh magnificent bird?”

“I was flying over these mountains, when I felt your presence, and I thought I knew you somehow.”

“I am in very much pain my good bird, and do not recognize you.”

“Weren’t you the tree soul who took care of me when I first sprouted by any chance?”

“Me, a tree? Can’t you then see that I am a man?”

“I was a tree too, and now I am a bird.”

But the man could not understand what you were telling him, and you left him to his sorrow

you continued your endless flight around the world, but now you had lost your aim even

in your heart you knew that even if this man did not remember, he had watched your first budding leaves bloom under the light of the sun

One day, you arrived in a place that looked familiar

there were small islands with forests sprouting on them, surrounded by a vast sea, and in the distance you could see mountains

and suddenly someone called you from below, and you landed on the island from where the voice had come

and it was a magnificent tree that made you taste the most delicious fruits you had ever eaten, and the tree told you you had groomed him when he was only a bulb rock

you could not recognize him, but you remembered with how much fascination and love you had observed its first leaves blooming through a tiny crack of the rock, of the palest green that later became darker and firmer

and now it was a huge tree that rustled freely in the wind

you spent one night sleeping in a large cosy nest he prepared for you

but the next morning already you felt another longing in your heart

you wished to retrieve your own rock bulb

you looked for it all over the oceans, but you could not find it

at night you came back to the magnificent tree that called you mother, and you slept on its boughs in the cosy nest

you told the tree about your sadness and your pain, but the tree could not understand

and at night you dreamt of the sad man you had met over the mountains, and you remembered the pain he had told you he felt

and you felt the exact same pain in your chest, and suddenly you understood him much better

why he wasn’t much inclined to talk, while his gaze was so deep and so dark

you felt the same longing that was burning his chest inside your heart

The next day you woke up and you were a bird no longer but a woman who woke up on the same mountain peak as the man you had met

he looked at you without recognizing you, and you looked at him without recognizing him either

you had lost all your memories of what you had once been

and all what remained inside your chest was an emptiness you could not fill

a pain you could not understand and a wound you could not heal

 

 

You greeted the man who lived under the tree

and you started singing sad songs

of the burning pain you felt in your chest

and that was the only thing you were aware of in this world so deep was your pain

You sang for ages under of the tree on the mountain peak

and during that time many men and women passed by

crying their pain too and unable to speak

Until one day when the well of your tears dried up

and your voice extinguished itself

Afterword you started working with your hands and became a craftswoman

and you moved down to the valley where you could live in a town and earn your living there

You were still in pain, but it was a more subdued form of pain you felt

it let you go about your life, and when you focused on other, trivial things, you could entirely forget about the pain

there you married your first husband and discovered the pleasures of your body together with him

you had children too, to whom you became very much attached

but time was taking its toll on you and your husband and you were aging

and one day you died, but soon you found yourself into a different place you had never heard of

living another life and getting to know other people

the pain still echoed in your chest, but it was distant

you lived about your life, and died, and lived again, and died again

sometimes you were a woman, other times a man

sometimes you were happy, and at other times sad

you lived dozens and dozens of different lives

always hearing the distant ringing of the bells of mourning within your chest

and you had no idea what you were mourning

you tried to fill your emptiness with men and women

you tried to drown your pain in alcohol and drugs

you try to heal your wound with knowledge and wisdom

but in vain, the bells continued to haunt your nights when you were lonely

and even when you were in company, you always felt a dark gap surrounding you

putting others that should have been close at a distance

 

 

One day you met again the man you had already met under the tree on the mountain’s peak

and he felt familiar, and he recognized you too, who were a woman again

even though the past was hazy and blurred

you told one another all you could remember of all the lives you had lived

and to that man you felt closer than any person you had met

you felt that he could somehow understand the pain that hid deep within your chest

because he had the same pain hidden in his own heart

and for a time, you felt almost fulfilled and complete with him

But soon enough, the winds of restlessness blew again over your spirit

and you discovered that even with this man that truly felt like someone of your family

one part of yourself was still achingly empty

and when you told him about it, he said that he too was feeling that something was stirring into his wound

“What can it be? Why are we always so sad, life after life, when other people laugh and joke?” you asked him

“Don’t be fooled by other people’s mirth,” your companion replied, “nobody’s truly happy otherwise they wouldn’t be here.”

“Do you really believe so?”

“I do. I believe that they all bear the same pain we endure, and they just cope with it in different ways. Some laugh while others cry, but the pain is always here.”

These words struck you

“And then what?” you wondered, “what can be the aim of such a sad and hopeless and aimless existence?”

“Perhaps it is of finding an aim then?” your companion said, “what do you most love doing and makes your heart beat faster?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then find out. This is the place where to start. Discover what you love the most. Not in other persons but within yourself.”

 

 

You continued your journey looking inward more than outward

instead of travelling from a land to another, you explored the realm of your spirit

you were trying to understand what you truly loved to do

what made your heart beat faster

and could give you an aim in life

other than mourning the emptiness in your chest

After lives and lives you eventually grew into the consciousness of your gift

and you started using it more and more

and when you did the love that swelled in your heart

was enough to bridge the dark gap that had always existed there

And you met again with the man you had first met under the tree on the mountain peak

you recognized one another with ease, and he told you he had found his gift at last

and you rejoiced together at what seemed the end of your long peregrinations in the world

you and your companion showed one another what you could do with both your gifts

and you discovered they were complementary, and you understood that by using them together

you could bring even more potency and beauty in your creation

you didn’t even need to speak or concert yourself, for your gifts did all the magical work on their own

you were complementary even without trying

you were like two pieces of a puzzle that perfectly fit side by side on bright days

however there still were days when your moods were gloomy

there still were days when the bells of mourning rang in your heart

and when you asked your companion why this sadness still devoured you from within

he told you he had the same interrogation and couldn’t think of any possible answer

 

One day, you remembered something very old

something of the times when you were still a rock bulb turning into a tree

when you had chosen to move your consciousness into the tree, you had left part of your soul in the rock bulb

could it be that missing part of yours that had been causing all this pain

you spoke about your intuition to your companion, and he jumped to his feet

“Yes, yes,” he cried, “I now remember it, I too left a part of my soul in my rock bulb.”

And you both went on a journey together, a journey in the inner and outer world

looking for those second parts of yourselves

were they still in the rock bulbs, or had they blossomed too

For ages and ages you looked for them

but you could not find their traces

until one day, you accepted to die to one another and to the world

you accepted to let go of the physical form you had acquired

what was the point of living with such a great pain?

 

Continue reading this poem on Twins

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: