On the path to become myself

I found out discipline was important

not discipline as a rigid application of rules

for years I made a rule of not following rules and conventions blindly

to only do what felt right uncaring of what laws and society tried to impose on me

And sometimes I wrongly assumed that well, as an artist what mattered was creating

and things such as doing my dishes and my laundry and keeping my room ordered I saw as mere hindrance

It is true that it won’t kill you to postpone these chores, especially when you’re inspired to do something better

but on the long run, I understood these were not truly chores

manual work can be quite relaxing when you’re spending your days in the realm of ideas and imagination

sleeping early, waking up early, cooking healthy meals you love are all ways to find a balance with your body

they are ways to keep boredom and emptiness in check, to avoid falling into shadows

but of course to start viewing these chores as something meaningful and essential

I first needed to have a clear knowledge of myself, to be more aware of my dream, of the path I am following

that doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not the first time I understand it feels good to have a tidy room, to be conscious of each of my gestures

except this time the understanding has sunk a bit lower in myself

each time, each cycle that repeats itself, brings me a little closer to full awareness

and from now on I believe discipline is essential to climb the last range of mountains before reaching the peaks I’ve been dreaming about, and having another world stretching under my feet

a new world to explore

discipline, determination in a creative way fit for myself

each person will discover a slightly different balance suiting his or her gifts

but all our journeys bear some parallels

we’re all crossing deserts and oceans and fields of stones and forests and reassuring villages and tilled fields and wild mountains

some people walk without knowing why they walk

others have this need to understand why they’re walking on this path to be able to go forward

and yet at the end, both will arrive where they were planning to go

what matters is becoming more conscious, more aware, step after step, valley after mountain

to appreciate more and more the landscape surrounding us, to sing with the birds and the winds and the rushing waters

to become one with ourselves and the nature surrounding us

to let the winds within us blow and cleanse us of all what is old and broken and impure

the state of our surrounding is but an image of who we are within

are we tightly controlling our emotions, our space

are we instead trying to forget, to fall into oblivion, accumulating things without knowing why

are we aware or unaware of why we’re walking in that particular direction

all questions that help us understand ourselves and grow in wisdom and in happiness

as both go hand in hand eventually