I woke up but the day was gray

the sky overcast

and my heart chilled

you were far far away

when you had been so closed

and it seemed like days and days must elapse

before feeling the warmth of closeness again


But what I understood is that it’s not only the distance between us that is chilling me

but the distance between you and your real self

the days when you let your emotions speak and sing and shout and cry

are the days I feel the closest to you

the days you feel the closest to yourself

and other days you roam around like a zombie, half-alive, half-conscious

and that’s what I feel, I feel your muted despair

not your rejection of me as I used to take it

but your rejection of yourself