A new found depth

I’m still afraid of you

I still doubt you

Sometimes I believe you do not care

I am a mere nuisance for you

You have your busy life to go on with after all

seeing your friends

adding people on social network

going out

and who am I in all that

nothing, nothing at all

When I start believing that

my energy level drops

and I surrender to my shadows

because I even lost the hope of love

and there’s nothing to retain me anymore on the bank of life

but the oblivion and ephemeral pleasure I can get

I try not to think of you, not to hurt of this distance

this silence between you and me

not to focus on the mild feeling of despair that tightens its cold grip on my heart

It doesn’t happen frequently, but it still does a few times

a few times too many

because this is a doubt, a huge lack of faith

how can I believe all that, when I know my truth and yours

no, you’re not happy with your life

no, you’re not careless even when you try to act so, and you’re doing that less and less

you’re becoming graver and more truthful

knowing when to laugh and when to cry

your newfound intensity giving a depth to all the emotions you feel

all the words you write

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. You will also come across many paintings by Chantal Peguiron that are intimately related to my artwork. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. If you like it, don’t hesitate to subscribe and follow me on social media! May you have an inspiring visit!

2 comments

  1. Do not despair. Be understanding. As you have your moods and shadows, so does your twin. She just doesn’t push you regarding them. The space you sometimes give feels more like abandonment. Punishment is given when your twin misbehaves. This usually is carried out by depriving her of something she craves more than anything. Your presence. You might call it attention. The opposite of this is ignoring and disappearing. The perfect recipe for a disastrous vicious cycle.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I guess you aren’t going to comment on anything. Ah well, it was a lesser risk of not saying anything at all. But I don’t believe in hiding my feelings. I just never knew anybody could ignore mine when expressed.
    I guess I’m glad that I was broken already. One can’t break broken, can one? I won’t tell. I promise.

    Liked by 1 person

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