A new found depth

I’m still afraid of you

I still doubt you

Sometimes I believe you do not care

I am a mere nuisance for you

You have your busy life to go on with after all

seeing your friends

adding people on social network

going out

and who am I in all that

nothing, nothing at all

When I start believing that

my energy level drops

and I surrender to my shadows

because I even lost the hope of love

and there’s nothing to retain me anymore on the bank of life

but the oblivion and ephemeral pleasure I can get

I try not to think of you, not to hurt of this distance

this silence between you and me

not to focus on the mild feeling of despair that tightens its cold grip on my heart

It doesn’t happen frequently, but it still does a few times

a few times too many

because this is a doubt, a huge lack of faith

how can I believe all that, when I know my truth and yours

no, you’re not happy with your life

no, you’re not careless even when you try to act so, and you’re doing that less and less

you’re becoming graver and more truthful

knowing when to laugh and when to cry

your newfound intensity giving a depth to all the emotions you feel

all the words you write

 

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