Faces

I’ve already poetized and disserted in great length about human nature and experiences

but there’s something quite crucial I’ve left out, our faces

what story does your face tell

what story does my face tell

 

The face is for me like a lake reflecting the emotions of a clear or tormented sky, the heart

It also keeps track of our history, our past

I had once read some words in Anam Cara that had stuck with me, stating that the face is so small and yet it is incredibly rich, on a small layer of skin so many things can happen

so many things can be showed or hidden

 

What do I think of my own face

do I want people to judge me by my physical appearance or by my actions

For me the face is where the two blend together, the face in the link between what’s inside of us and what’s outside

the rest of our body can lie, but for an experienced eye the face can hardly lie

of course, it can lie about petty matters, but it can’t lie about the truth of the heart and the mind hiding beyond

every blockage, every trauma is in a way or another expressed in the face

a rigid line, a small twist, an aura of sadness, a tight mask, an open heart

 

The artists who paint our faces in the spiritual realm are master painters truly

they’ve not painted one rigid set, but a thousands of small and larger variations

changing as our body ages and our spirit accumulates experience

yes, I believe each person, each soul, has a quite unique role to play based on her gifts, on her dreams

the painter on Earth may be a soul who paints new views or new faces in the spirit realm

after all, we’re all tiny pieces of God, co-creators of the world with our own skills, becoming more and more extensive as we gain in experience, life after life

 

What about my face now

When I was a teenager I hardly accepted to put eye-glasses and for several years I remember not wearing them at school, having to stare at the board to manage to read when I was too far

Without my glasses, I was fairly satisfied with it, depending on days and the perspectives on which I looked at it

I never took too much care of it, of my hair, preferring just to forget about them, about my appearance, as I considered I had more worthy pursuits in life

and yet it always felt good to be cleanly shaved, well-dressed, freshly bathed, and of course that gave me more confidence in society

but I rarely made the effort, except when pressed by my close ones, or when I felt a strong motivation beating within me, sometimes to confront a difficult appointment, other times because I actually wanted to rejoice and feast

for a long time I’ve been away from social media, mainly Facebook, where I used to change picture a couple of times per year, always craving the likes as I was not too confident of my power of attraction and never had had a girlfriend

and with my new-found confidence, when I got back on social media, I just set my paintings instead of my face, which in my opinion told much more interesting things about myself

but tonight, I’ve realized I needed to find a balance, a balance between the internal and the external

after all my face is what people see of me, that’s how they recognize me

people who don’t know me are perhaps curious to know who is hiding behind these words, these paintings

in more spiritual realms we can perhaps sense the true face of others without seeing them with our actual eyes, but here on earth all what I do and write and create happens within my head, through my body

and that’s why I’m sharing with you my face tonight, a recent picture taken at my first exhibition

I’ve rarely smiled in such a raw way in life, being more taciturn, melancholic, fiery by nature

but I’ve been uncommonly happy in the last months, as I’m finally doing what I love

and instead of a tight face trying to smile, or a fiery one

I just smiled naturally to life with all my heart

and while smiling I also thought of you my twin of love and truth and shadows

and of the last time we smiled to each other, uncontrollably

on the verge of beaming and crying at the same time