Ultimate Confrontation

What are you doing with me

Why are you imposing your burdens over me

making me feel limp when I should burst with energy

It’s high time you accept who you are

and stop, stop repressing your emotions

stop repressing your emptiness

stop repressing your anger

stop repressing your sadness

Enough of all that

I’ve written you those exact words in the past

but their force was not enough to compel you in growing into yourself

I shouldn’t bear the weight of your bad decisions

I shouldn’t bear the weight of your anguish

I shouldn’t carry the pain and the burden of your wounds

Stop escaping from the wounds you’ve kept hidden deep within

Stop plunging yourself in a mundane existence just to forget about all the issues

that need healing in your spirit

Listen to your emotions

Listen to your intuitions

Write, draw, do what’s good for you

and stop doing what empties you and makes me hazy and rudderless

Are my harsh words undeserved

you know better than I do how deserved they are

how I’d shake you if you were right in front of me

I’d shake you and shake you until all your lies left your spirit

until you plunged into your wounded past and cry

One part of you hates when I use the power behind my words

to ignite the fire burning deep within you

but today I wish this part in you will finally collapse and burn and vanish in dark smoke

The other part of you thanks me silently for freeing her once more

for giving her the strength she needs to impose her will and radiate with truth and love

I’m not afraid of you, of your bully part

and on throwing at her ugly face all her harsh truths

and slapping her and biting her with each of my word

and ripping apart all the masks of falsehoods, the tights clothes and the narrow shoes she’s dressed herself with

this time there’s no escape, no refuge where to hide

I am pushing you over the cliff

and the heavy in you will fall

and the lightness in you shall rise and fly toward the sun

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. You will also come across many paintings by Chantal Peguiron that are intimately related to my artwork. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. If you like it, don’t hesitate to subscribe and follow me on social media! May you have an inspiring visit!

26 comments

  1. An effort to change things? If so I hope it works and I hope you are well. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. operalover1974

    Wow. I can only think of one thing that you might be referring to. It is in the recent past and it is not something I’ve been hurting over for years.cI regret it, however I was unattached when it happened. If you know of this I would be curious to know how this information came to you. Also you could have asked me directly regarding something so important. Just because I make mistakes doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve to be treated like an equal human being. My heart and mind are open. If yours are, then hopefully you will contact me and we can work this out.

    Like

    • Dear Operalover,
      This is not addressed to you. Perhaps you recognize yourself in some of my writings, but none is addressed to you specifically. I don’t know you, I know nothing about you but what you wrote in your comments. It would be very pretentious of me to write thinking of you.
      I’m glad that you are finding so much meaning in my words, but when you don’t, don’t take them as an accusation. Just let them slip over you. What I am writing about is my experience of journey toward self-discovery.
      Good day to you, and thanks for sharing your thoughts

      Like

      • operalover1974

        Typical. So I’ll repeat what you said. My responses aren’t addressed to you. It is just a way for me to release my thoughts and feelings. Please do not take them personally. You can delete them or ignore them as you wish.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oh no I’m glad we’re on the same page then ! I usually did not take them personally. Only yesterday and today I wondered. My intuition told me we were understanding each others, but suddenly my rational mind was afraid. And so I reacted. Feel free to continue responding as much as it helps you!
          Good luck with all what you’re going through

          Like

          • operalover1974

            No I won’t be responding but thank you. It’s just strange that what’s happening in my life is mirrored in your writings to the exact hour in which you write them. I simply adore honest people and authenticity.

            Liked by 1 person

            • It is strange indeed, and heart warming in a way to see that other people are journeying on parallel paths! The universe has interesting ways of working
              Sometimes I took your responses as though it was my twin herself writing to me

              Like

            • operalover1974

              That’s how I felt as well. But since you reassured me that you are not him then there’s no reason for me to be here. I’ve lost him. Dumped via social media under alternate names. It’s hard to believe in one’s worth when dealt that hand.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Remain strong nonetheless and keep hope! Don’t forget that in a way or in another he mirrors you

              Like

            • operalover1974

              So are you saying that he’s breaking my heart because I broke his at some point? Is that the mirroring we’re doing? I don’t know about having hope. He won’t even speak to me.

              Like

            • She’s not speaking to me either. And it already happened in the past several times, for three, four, eight months, no communication. Then we always resumed our communication, usually after I wrote her again. And each time, we did a leap forward in our understanding. So at the end even if I suffered a lot, I understood the purpose of these long times of silence.
              No, I believe he mirrors who you are right now. If you’re escaping from yourself on some areas, if you’re not being truthful to yourself on some aspects, he will mirror that on other aspects. I invite you to read my whole twin flame story (there are 30 chapters that follow one another) because perhaps it will bring you new lights. You can start it here https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2017/12/19/meeting-my-twin-soul-part-one/

              Like

            • operalover1974

              Oops I somehow missed this part of your reply. I still am confused about the specifics. I deserve something. Anything. If he has cheated on me, I deserve to know truth so I can process it. I’m not a monster. I am understanding and forgiving but most importantly I want to listen because I want to be here for him.

              Like

            • And if you don’t have the patience to read it all, here are all the thirty chapters, from the newest to the oldest, choose the ones that inspire you the most https://erikvincentizakhia.com/category/twin-soul-story/

              Like

            • operalover1974

              Really? Do I have the patience? Also if this is going to break my heart I really can’t afford to do that right now. My kids are already worried about me as it is, and I have a lot of work to do in the next couple of weeks and in the next 90 days following. Work on me. So if this is going to break me, maybe you could have some mercy on me and tell me now. Otherwise I need to wait to read until I officially have the professional support in place to help put me back together.

              Like

            • Well in some places the story is rough, but in others it is heart warming, and there is a constant progression.
              In few words, just try to in balance with yourself, to be convinced of all the little acts you do, when you’re feeling bored or uncomfortable question why.
              Focus on yourself, on becoming the person you dream to be, and in due time your twin will come back to you. Have faith in your heart that this love is meant to be and you are undergoing separation to grow and understand new things and become stronger and stronger.
              Good luck

              Like

            • operalover1974

              Well I mostly bored because I don’t do much of anything especially the things that I used to love doing. I’m not happy with my and how it’s going and that is why I’ve chosen treatment. I get uncomfortable a lot of times when I’m angry or scared. Sometimes I feel insecure and claustrophobic. I know why I have these feelings sometimes. I believe I’ve explained this to him before. It’s difficult sometimes because he’s so sensitive but would never say so at first. I know I’m not easy to love and I need to work on what I say and how I say it. At the same time I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to walk on eggshells as that’s what I had to learn to do around my ex-husband. I was constantly in fear of triggering his anger. He would constantly reiterate the fact that I was the cause of it. So I can go back and forth between being over the top bold to completely silent with walls up.

              Like

            • hmm I understand, and what’s the situation with your twin that is making you suffer so much ?
              From what you are telling me, it’s positive that you’ve become more assertive

              Like

            • operalover1974

              I don’t know what the situation is. He hasn’t bothered to contact me directly to tell me. Hasn’t contacted me in a couple weeks now I believe. When he said he would call me the next day. I understand if you cannot communicate with me everyday or any day but I would appreciate it if he would tell me that. So on top of being ignored he started sending little Clues and things on Twitter and I know that it is him because of the things that are known about me and sent to me along with replying to my specific detailed Tweets. Maybe you’ll understand when I say I would recognize my twin anywhere. Even if the name is different. Even if they say they’re not him. It does not matter.

              Like

            • operalover1974

              I’m kind of confused. You’re sleeping with another woman and you travel to see your twin bringing her along? And then your twin cheats on you with some strange boy? How is this similar to what happened to me? If he’s with somebody else he needs to let me know. I’m not with anybody else. The mistake I made was a business transaction only. There were no feelings involved at all. There never good be. I can only love my twin.

              Like

            • She’s not whatever woman, she’s my soul sister and the soul sister of my twin. My twin knows her and loves her. I was afraid of sexuality until my soul sister helped me unblock my blockages and it helped my twin with that too. My twin has a history of going with boys from time to time. I’ve never been in a proper relationship with her. It’s been three years I express her my love, and she told me she loved me back last summer. Just before she disappeared.
              All what happens, even betrayals, help us heal. There’s nothing truly evil.
              Once my twin told to me: “You idiot, you’re jealous if I go with another man. But you shouldn’t. True love has nothing to do with the relationship between lovers. I will never love them as I love you. And even if one twin doesn’t speak to his other half during months, he can never never forget his other half and cannot stop from loving her.”

              Like

            • operalover1974

              I’m sorry but unless it was a meaningless one night stand or something expressed without feelings, that is not acceptable to me. Your twin is an interesting person but I find this way of thinking very disturbing and I pray that you all do not suffer for this later on in your relationship. I can’t follow this anymore. If it was fiction it might be interesting but I still think I would have a hard time reading it as this type of thing makes my stomach turn. Good luck to all of you.

              Liked by 1 person

            • operalover1974

              Also the fact that she disregarded your feelings when you must have expressed hurt or jealousy, calling you idiot and then talked you into being okay with her choices does not sit well with me

              Liked by 1 person

            • operalover1974

              No I didn’t just become assertive. I started becoming more of a bitch because I got tired of being pushed around and used

              Like

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