Gratitude

Today for the first time

I perceive things in a new light

and all what I feel toward you is gratitude

Gratitude for being here for me even when you aren’t

Gratitude for showing me what I still do badly and strengthening me in my resolve

All what you did in the past, all what you still do that anger me

is not a consequence of your weakness, or the lies you tell to yourself

No, you’re doing it and showing it to me to help me

to help me understand that there still are boughs of my spirit tree

that are infected and need to be cut from the stem

Today for the first time, when I thought of drowning into oblivion

I decided to strengthen my resolve by looking over the things I usually shout about to you

It is only through my love for you that I can become the person I wish to become

for you, for myself, but always through this love

when I see that you’re astray, that you’re doing things you don’t want to do

it’s as though I were looking into a mirror, and finally seeing all the things I’m doing not out of love, but out of fear

instead of focusing on telling you what to do and what not to do

I focus on fighting my fears, my bad habits, and instead try doing what renders my light brighter

Thank you for being here for me

Thank you for showing me the way, in your own way that can be rough sometimes

but the language your spirit speaks is the one I understand the best

and that’s the only way I can learn to master the wheel of shadows and become complete within myself

I love you, my twin of truth

And I know, I feel, when you’re perceiving yourself as I perceive you

when you’re coming closer to love yourself as I love you

for I feel a warmth expanding in all my body, and a quiet whirlwind blowing in my heart, and I have this need to cry tears of love and joy

Do love yourself, please do, your deserve it all

Brush a soft curl from behind your ear, and massage the tip of your brow with a finger

and think of the child you were, and the girl you are, and the woman you will become

and believe with all your heart that you have been, you are, the same person all alone

this girl with a boundless imagination and an indescribable love for fantasy realms and towns and a deep affinity with words she caresses with her hands and warms with her heart

a girl hungry for love but with so much love to give too, who wants to make people smile around us, who dreams to make her beloved as happy as she wish to be

Be that person, that girl that once hugged me, embraced me, in a dream and between whose arms I felt so content, so complete, so fulfilled, accepted and reassured as I had never been

this girl who would have stood up for me when I was shy and weak and insecure, just by looking into my eyes and taking my hands

All along you have been this girl, your heart is hers, you are her

The ugliness you see in you is an illusion, dead wood that will be carried away with the next storm

hug this girl now, embrace her with all your heart

and become the woman of your dreams

and happiness will be yours

While writing you these words I realize I too need to embrace this boy that has kept hidden for so long within me

this boy full of love for all, and breathing poetry and weaving it in tears and in words

I need to bring him back to life

of course he’s alive, he’s more real than reality

but to be happy he must return to be at the center of my spirit, and I must become him

this boy you will recognize as though you had always known him the next time you see him

you, the girl I have always known in my heart and I have dreamt for years

 

 


 

“Danse de l’équilibre” is a drawing by Chantal Peguiron

 

Danse de l'équilibre

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. You will also come across many paintings by Chantal Peguiron that are intimately related to my artwork. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. If you like it, don’t hesitate to subscribe and follow me on social media! May you have an inspiring visit!

One comment

  1. A very artistic and beautiful composition of literature which has mused into an amazing poetry.

    Like

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