Reuniting with my twin flame – The Bridge and the Constellation

And the next day we took the airplane to Lebanon

already in Geneva airport we had a small taste of the kind of challenges that were awaiting us

instead of being stressed as usual I proposed Chantal to sit in a coffee to write, draw, read

and I was so engrossed in the brief mail I was writing to my twin I didn’t notice the time passing, until we had to literally run out of fear of missing the airplane

We arrived in Beirut and were welcomed by my father

I was happy to see him again, but I could already feel the tension building up in the air because of my life choices, because of my parents worrying for me

We spent the first weeks of our stay in Amchit, the village where we have a family house that is usually empty since my siblings and parents live in Beirut

there we could focus on our respective arts, as having stopped working we had the necessity to start concretizing our projects

I continued writing to my twin, but my mails grew shorter and less frequent

In the first month after she had rejected me, it had been extremely useful to write her, as I understood new things in each letter I crafted

but once I arrived in Lebanon I felt patterns started to repeat themselves, I wasn’t understanding new things and instead feeling quite a lot of stress

because of the need to convince my family that yes, I had made the right choice

because of my continuous proximity with Chantal, who’s my best friend I love

but with whom we also have the natural tendency to fill our emptiness, emotional, mental, physical together

Instead of self-questioning why inspiration is not flowing until it returns

it’s easier to spend some time together, discuss about it perhaps, and be distracted by other things, forgetting about our deeper problems and being carried by one another anguishes

also, visiting the country was quite tiring, as we had to move exclusively by car, my father’s car he had lent us, and I had to drive, an activity I find impoverishing and tiring

driving I can’t enjoy the landscapes as much as I’d like, I feel a distance with them, and it drains me of my energy

Nonetheless, we had some beautiful moments, such as when I stepped for the first time in the popular market place of Tripoli at the North of the country, which is rich in culture and beautiful buildings and sweets, and has kept all its authenticity

or when we visited the most famous forest of Cedars and met with a wise man called Malek with whom we spent five hours and who invited us in his house during a sudden hailstorm and lit for us a brazier, and when he heard we hadn’t eaten he grilled for us potatoes, and prepared hot tea over the fire, and brought labneh and mountain cheese and flat bread and carob molasses

Malek discussed with us as though he more or less understood who we were, on which journey we were, and he gave each of us precious advices and showed us the simple and genuine way of living of mountaineers as it used to be in the past

he reassured Chantal quite a lot about her doubts, and she felt comfortable enough to cry in front of him, and she sensed a bond with him as though she had known him in another life

and as he spoke only Arabic, he insisted that I translated everything he said to Chantal in French

We met his cousin too, who was too a genuine and kind and generous person

Malek drew a small cedar on a wooden key ring for Chantal, as he loves drawing and always draws cedars, but each time differently

that time it seemed a cedar of clouds

and after tasting to the piercing cold of the mountain, we came back to the mildness of the plain where gardens of olive trees stand next to orchards of figs and bananas and citrus, and more exotic trees such as avocado, mango and papaw

I was happy to see Chantal discovering all these fruits she didn’t know and show her the side of Lebanon I loved

I was glad to see her inspired by the colors and the landscapes around her

Another striking memory is when there was a thunderstorm with a strong gale and we went walking on wild beaches along the sea

and the sea was so rough the foam of waves had accumulated on the beach and swirled in the air

Other days were quite warm instead and we could stroll in the garden and run along the sea

Little by little my family came at a better acceptance of my choices, as I remained very quiet during the discussions I had with them, as I have this strong inner confidence in what I am doing, and in my life beliefs

They also started to appreciate Chantal more and more, after the slight initial distrust related to the fact that she hadn’t reasoned me to continue working, as my best friend should have done

I had ample occasion to see my family, my grandfather and my great uncle and aunts in my village, and we had some interesting discussions about the old ways of preparing things, of living, with them, as they’re still close to nature, they still lend an ear to the symphony of seasons, they still prepare many jams and syrups and recipes the old way

Starting the middle of our stay we started spending several days per week in Beirut too, and Chantal got to know my parents more, and laugh with my siblings as they already loved each other when they had spoken on skype

What I discovered during the first part of my stay in Lebanon is that when I was doing something wrong, my parents would unconsciously realize it and tell me to correct the thing

And I understood parents and close ones had a stronger role to play than I thought in this quest, as they could offer you some guidance when you strayed

my father noticed I controlled too much Chantal and asked me several times to give her more space; I did it out of anguish, of her lacking of something, of being judged, but my father was right

they also told me to hold myself straighter, my shoulders, my heads, and do sports

And then, unexpectedly, my parents proposed to me to stay longer in Lebanon, when at first I planned to stay one month with Chantal

I was surprised by their proposal, and they ensured me they believed in me and they’d do their best so that no one would disturb me while I wrote, and I saw they were truly in earnest

We all had a wound because of my abrupt departure four years before to complete my studies in Switzerland, and it would do us all good to spend some time together

I accepted, and Chantal was sad at first we’d be separated for two months, as her insecurities reawakened, but soon enough she too saw the positive in that, in being separated for a while to each grow from our side, and become stronger and less dependent

So she left and I remained for two more months, two important months

While Chantal was still in Lebanon I continued painting with watercolors and drawing with colored pencils, and I did more of the latter and discovered I could create fantasy views that made me dream and want to write about them

When she left, I had more time for myself, no more need to do tourism, so I could focus more


The first two weeks after her departure I started to increasingly write more and more, and as I had assumed by then my twin had blocked me by mail too, I wrote poems for everyone on my blog

and for the first time my father became truly encouraging about my writings and paintings, and he asked me why I didn’t associate one writing for each painting of mine

a few days later I discovered how each time I painted, I could then write about it, as though the act of painting channeled something unconscious into my consciousness, and then I understood it while writing about it

my mother too started reading my texts, and loved them, and told she was sure I’d make it

that gave me incredible warmth and support, after their initial refusal of my choices, to have them so strongly with me

and they told all the family of my choices, and they all took it more or less well

It’s at that time that my father encouraged me to come back on social media to share more of my writings, as it was a pity not to share them with the world

and I did, and I had many heartwarming comments from friends and foreigners

and all that encouraged me to write even more, and little by little I sharpened my understanding of the phase I was going through

I wasn’t ready yet to delve into my historical-fantasy world of Hazen

before to do that I had all a manuscript to write, describing the journey to myself, to awakening

and that’s what I had started doing several years before while I wrote to my twin, but now I was writing it at a much faster pace

and then I discovered that I also needed to tell this story with my twin, to fully accept it, integrate it, live again once more its beautiful and painful moments, accept both of them and find love into them

and while writing this story and sharing it I discovered other people who were on this journey too apart from Chantal and me and my sister

and it was encouraging to discuss with them, to hear parts of their stories too, as each story is entirely unique, each soul different from others

and slowly I became more self-ensured to show my drawings and paintings to others, to my grandmother, to my cousin, and they said they saw great sensitivity in them

and Chantal encouraged me to try to participate to the exhibitions she was participating to

And I was selected for the month of February, and I felt elated hearing that because the universe was showing me in a small way that yes, this was the right way to take

During December and January I wrote more than ever, but I also accepted to live my shadows as I describe in many poems

the fetish, the need to be recognized on social media and be famous, my existential doubts

I lived them more, understood better from where they stemmed

I saw clearly they were all related to a different form of emptiness I had within me, each human being had within himself or herself

a gap impossible to fill, because I still didn’t love myself truly and entirely

When in September and October I had been determined to resist, I let go more with the flow while I was in Lebanon

first because I didn’t have the choice, I needed to attend to all my obligations, family, doctors, tourism

and second because one part of me wanted to go with the flow and in order to make that part grow and become self-aware I needed to listen to her

when you listen to your shadows, to your weaknesses, you lose a bit of resolve

That phase was particular because despite not having the resolve to wake up early every morning and control my cravings, I was also more and more inspired

I understood that I was integrating my left shadows side that is related to creativity too, especially to painting and drawing, but also to writing as the two are deeply bonded

I came to an understanding with my parents that I would have never dreamt to have, that deeply humbled me, because of all the love and support they showed me

it was a true miracle, life and God deserved all my faith and my trust I realized

only one needed to wait the appropriate time for things to happen, because first you needed to understand who you were

that’s why life puts hardships on our path, to awaken us to our true selves

And I left Lebanon and was back in Lausanne, that was as a continuation of Lebanon with the shadows exploration and the growing inspiration

but slowly I understood through my paintings, through my intuitions, through my poems that a storm was coming

that I had explored enough my shadows and that I now must find the strength to truly resist and become the person I dreamt to be

and that renewed motivation gave me the energy to continue writing this story at a very fast pace, so that the past would be integrated into the present, and I’d finally be able to fully savor the present

to be noted that during all this period I gradually accepted my twin’s decision of not talking to me, of blocking me, and understood how much good she had done to me by doing it

accepting that wasn’t a long quiet river, there were times when I had pikes of anger against her, writing her from platforms where she had not blocked me yet, ending up blocked

but now, I’ve stopped doing that

the day when she will be ready, the day when I will be ready, she will unblock me, she will come read me, and she will write me

and meanwhile I am happy of the person I am becoming

happy to be writing and painting and walking along the path of my dreams

happy to share all that with myself and with the world

happy to have found a balance between the bridge and the constellation

I was too focused on the bridge, my twin

until Chantal and Lebanon taught me the constellation too could bring me a lot of love and light

but I shouldn’t focus entirely on the constellation, because otherwise I’d lose sight of the path to walk on, I’d lose focus to reach my dream

Both are necessary in an equal fashion, the bridge, and the constellation

and now I’ve integrated this lesson

I can finally move to the present moment

And underneath you will find all the drawings and paintings I’ve done before starting actively writing about them

Someday, they’ll find their perfect place in the puzzle of self-knowledge I’m uncovering


Molten decor

Molten decor

Dark skies

Dark skies

Blurred lines

Blurred lines



Four elements

Four elements













Twin clouds

Twin clouds

Flame struggle

Flame struggle



Scrambled souls

Scrambled souls











Rugged hills

Rugged hills

Falling leaf

Falling leaf

Dream tower

Dream tower completed



The birth of a world

the birth of a world

Eincyg and Cyg

Eincyg and Cyg

Faeric garden

Faeric garden

Two towns

Two towns




If you’re new here, you can start reading this story from the beginning with chapter 1 – The Dream, or the previous chapter Rediscovering Painting


About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. You will also come across many paintings by Chantal Peguiron that are intimately related to my artwork. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. If you like it, don’t hesitate to subscribe and follow me on social media! May you have an inspiring visit!


  1. Pingback: Reuniting with my twin flame – Rediscovering Painting | Erik Vincenti Zakhia

  2. Your writing is very beautiful x


  3. Anonymous

    Dear Eric i have read your story and did you overthink it maybe chantal is your twinflame because you sad your kudalini awakening started when you met chantal… i think your twin is your false twin a lookelike or a carmic friend maybe you have to resolf something or learn something…because your twin will never hurt you in a case where she wold hurt her self she will always come with something better afteral in the end… if thats not the case she is not your twin… your twin will make you a better person she is your mirror and she sees you…your twin know what you need…maybe chantal is your twin she is the painter en you are the writter you compliment each other ying yang but you are the same.. because when she cry you cry she opend up your emotion….the only one how can change you fast and open you is your twinflame..your twinflame will take your fears away you will do thing you never thougth you will do….eventualy you will be your true self withouth all the blocks…you will shine… maybe you are the runner in that case you only dont know it yet…what do you think

    much love..


    • Hello,
      Thank you for reading my story and sharing your thoughts.
      From an external perspective what you say could be possible.
      But inside of me I know my truth. My twin has not truly hurt me. She has just reawakened old wounds and made them painful again to help me heal them. Right now, I feel almost entirely peaceful with all what happened. And a few weeks ago, she wrote me again, sending me two texts of hers. I’ll tell this story when it will be ready to be told.
      And both Chantal and me know who are our respective twins. Chantal doesn’t think I am her twin. We’re soul sisters, soulmates. Very close souls who live parallel lives, parallel pains. But the true mirror is with the two others.
      Have you met your twin too?


  4. Anonymous

    Hello Eric,

    thanks for replying, yes i do think so…. i do understand you by saying she didnt hurt me she opend my wonds so you can see where you need to work on and heal them… the hurt that i mean is if someone hurts you in an way where you wil be not better but a worser person that is bad that is not the work of a twinflame miroring the other….if your twinflame hurts you you wil eventualy be a better person…and they wil always believe in you at the end…. and if you meet your twin you will no it…. your twinflame is something you have never experienst in your life its way difrent…..its not only love its more than that evrything will change….did you also have sings i mean does evrything also fits like a puzzle…

    much love…

    Liked by 1 person

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