Oh beloved

why don’t you feel like doing the right things for you this morning

why does it take you so much energy to disentangle from your old, inert patterns

why is it so hard to start writing the words you ought to write

It gives you energy to block me

and it gives me energy to clash against your will

But now I’m lost for words

I’ve well understood that confrontations won’t bring me any good

Loving myself is the only way to heal my wounds

I’ve made some progress on the path I’m walking on

crossed several hills and valleys since we last talked

but there still are hardships to overcome

shadows to love and to transform

I’ve chosen this symbolic day to write you again

but I won’t ask you to write me back this time

I won’t ask you to do what takes you energy, instead of lending you strength

I won’t ask you to unblock me

I just pray that you accept my earnest words