Reuniting with my twin flame – Rediscovering Drawing

soeurs_twin_flames_chantal_peguiron

And so my twin flame had finally declared her love for me

Something I feared would never happen had happened

I told Chantal about it

and she was glad for me

but also insecure as she was afraid I’d abandon her now that this impossible love story seemed to be working for me

Meanwhile she had also done some progress

During the month of June she had written down all her story

since she was a teenager, telling the painter about how she used to cut her arms, about her first physical relationships, how she was disappointed by love and gradually slipped into her dark night of the soul, drugging herself, going with one night’s partner

and finally how she had retrieved the light after three long years without inspiration in which her view about life had been quite hopeless and depressed

by starting to paint again, by traveling to Africa, by learning to be alone, by growing closer to her family and by meeting me and him

She had written the painter ten or fifteen long mails in a row, when he was not used to such a direct speech from her part, as in the past she had only sent him and showed him some watercolors, and a few text messages

She also told him she loved him, first in Indonesian, his mother tongue, then in French

He had not replied to that, but from time to time he wrote short messages to Chantal, always putting me in copy

commenting on one part or another from her mails, replying to a question in particular

their written communication was never as fluid as that with my twin

Chantal felt they were supposed to communicate with drawings and paintings, and when she went to see him and saw his newest canvases sometimes she felt very strong emotions

his episodic messages to us reassured us, in the sense he did not believe us crazy and even though he did not lean into one direction or another he wrote to us as though everything that was happening was normal and did not unsettle him

but each time he wrote Chantal it anguished her because in appearance nothing in his messages was extraordinary, and his words always needed to be interpreted

In the days after my twin confessed her love for me for the first time

we almost wrote each other on a daily basis, it was the first time it ever happened

usually she almost always waited a couple of days or a week before replying to me

but now her replies were almost immediate and going in depth

She told me that she felt for her that writing and drawing were intimately related

and she told me she had not experienced the creative Flow since a very long time and that her body had almost forgotten how it felt

whereas I was perhaps more open to the Flow especially when writing l’histoire Lausannoise two years before

and while writing that mail she suddenly remembered of a drawing she had drawn when she was eight year old

and she went to look for it, and suddenly she realized she had thrown it

she had thrown it! a drawing so powerful she remembered it still many years later

she had felt the Flow while drawing it, and now she felt to saddened and frustrated and disgusted because she wanted to see it again, she wanted to show it to me

she described me her drawing, it was a lake with lily-flowers that in their stems had little doors that were cut and in their petals they had little windows

and nearby on the bank there was a weeping willow with mushrooms, elfenbankjes, that resembled little houses with little suspended balconies

it was the first city she had ever designed

and here I add that it was a twin city with two towns watching one another from afar, and at eight year old already she knew already she had a twin somewhere in this world

she concluded her letter by saying that her frustration could perhaps lead her to try drawing again

the same day Chantal wrote my twin asking her for a drawing to reassure her, as the painter was not so communicative with her

and the next day my twin sent Chantal a drawing picturing the four of us

it was of a complexity I had not thought her capable

Chantal and me were looking each other in the eyes, I holding her hand with my right hand and holding an empty book, our future novel, with my left hand

Chantal was drawing with her right hand on the paper using it as though it was a canvas, something that resembled a fault line between us, a separation or a liberation, as though now I had reassured her she’d grow free from my control, my shadow, and become her better self

my twin and me shared the same soul, two bodies within one soul, glued to one another

except that she looked in the opposite direction, and she had her right hand placed on her heart, as though she was learning to listen to her emotions

and her left hand was busily writing, not in a book but in the background

The painter mirrored by twin, sharing one soul with Chantal, and looking in the opposite direction altogether, his right hand on his heart, his left hand busy drawing rounded shapes where Chantal drew more decisive shapes

It was an incredibly rich drawing that each time surprises me still with its depth

It was a perfect capture of who we were during all the months that followed that moment

 

“Soeurs faériques” is a drawing by Chantal Peguiron

You can continue reading this story with the next part Emotional Turmoil

If you’re new here, you can start reading this story from the beginning with chapter 1 – The Dream, or the previous chapter Hazen and Twins of Wyrd

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. You will also come across many paintings by Chantal Peguiron that are intimately related to my artwork. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. If you like it, don’t hesitate to subscribe and follow me on social media! May you have an inspiring visit!

4 comments

  1. Pingback: Reuniting with my twin flame – Hazen and Twins of Wyrd | Erik Vincenti Zakhia

  2. CONGRATULATIONS 😊

    You have been nominated for the Blogger Recognition Award!

    You’ll find the details in this blog post:

    https://ishaisms.wordpress.com/2018/02/08/blogger-recognition-award/

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Reuniting with my twin flame – Emotional Turmoil | Erik Vincenti Zakhia

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