Gate to Hazen

Gate to Hazen

The gate to Hazen

resembles a whirlwind

a conic seashell

a well with a diameter getting smaller and smaller

It’s a maze where to walk one ring at a time

with the risk of getting lost on the way

because of the intense bouts of haze

floating around, eager to mislead you from your path

The question is how to get out from this maze

The answer is time and growing consciousness

Beyond this whirlwind of stone and shadows

a bright light shines

another world exists

 

Each person has his or her Hazen

without being aware of it perhaps

but it is there present within the memory and the imagination of their soul

an entire world encompassing past, present and future

an ever growing town with the grandest library in the world

I’ve coined it Hazen

but you can call it as you like it best

using the name that evokes the most meaning for you

 

After unlocking my own Hazen

and stepping there

my aim is to offer you some help

a bit of warmth and light and guidance

a cold drink or a hot stone

and a compass perhaps

along the tiring way you’ve been journeying on

to fulfill your own personal legend

 

 

“Gate to Hazen” is a watercolor I painted

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. May you have an inspiring visit!

12 comments

  1. I had a dream where I died (was it a dream? I felt it was something more …) about 4 years ago. Your ‘Hazen’ reminded me of the tunnel I ‘flew’ down like a whirlwind before reaching this other dimension… the colours are quite something!

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    • What you tell me is fascinating. Especially that it’s been only few months I’ve started drawing and painting regularly, and I let my hand work trying not to control it and find meaning in what it creates. Would you like to share a bit more about this dream, this vision, you had?

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      • Yes, it would be my pleasure to tell you more. The ‘dream’ happened on New Year’s Day 2013 – that’s how specific it is – I mentally noted it because it was such a profound and puzzling experience.
        I dreamed I was in the kitchen looking at the ceiling (there was a damp patch on it where water was coming in due to a leak in my upstairs neighbour’s flat (this is factual!) and I became cross, then I felt myself getting very dizzy and fell to the floor. The next thing I am propelled down this vortex, tunnel, call it what you will. I’m not aware of my body anymore but I feel my presence hurtling through time and space until I arrive in this huge space like a massive warehouse where there are many, many people doing things (not sure what). I look around and I am again aware of myself and my body and I am curious. In a corner, way over the other side of the ‘warehouse’ my friend is sitting and seems to be working on her laptop. I feel myself going over to her, not walking, but I just find myself at her desk and I say to her: ‘J. It’s me Marie’. She pays me no attention. I try very hard to let her see that it’s me but she is completely unaware that I am there.
        I then start throwing things on the floor to make sounds so she can see and hear me, but still she takes no notice.
        Over the other side of the warehouse, I notice another friend (a very close male friend) who I go over to (it takes no effort to get to places) and I hold his hand, start hugging him and telling him that I am there next to him, but he completely ignores me.
        It is then that I have the realisation that I am dead. I say to myself: ‘Oh, f**k, I’m dead!’ With this realisation, I feel wonderful and full of excitement and even more curiosity. I suddenly see this large opening in the warehouse and I think to myself that if I’m dead I’m going to go and explore – I have heard there are wonderful things to see. I’m not at all bothered about being ‘dead’.
        Then before I go off to explore, the thought comes to me that this all so sudden and that my daughter will not know where everything is when she finds out that I’m dead.
        It is at this moment, I wake very suddenly. Not the way you wake up from a normal dream. I hear like a ‘ping’ sound and it is as if something reconnects in my physical body, almost as if my soul has returned to my body.
        It was a very strange dream and I remember it very clearly, unlike lots of dreams where they are very disjointed and the memories are foggy and unclear. So that’s what makes me wonder if it really was a dream and had I really ‘died’, but came back because of concern for my daughter.
        Any thoughts on this Erik? You don’t have to have any thoughts – no obligation!:))
        Very sweet of you to ask me about my dream.

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        • Wow! How old is your daughter? So you are married too? Don’t feel obliged to answer my personal questions, but I’m curious by nature and like to place things in their contexts! I’ve never had an experience like this one. But I’ve recently read a book where perhaps part of the puzzle is explained. It’s called “Destiny of souls” by Michael Newton. He is, was since he is dead, an hypnotherapist, who was very Cartesian and atheist at first. But his patients started telling him stories of other lives they had lived and the World between lives – the spiritual world. And after so many patients telling him similar things he decided there was an element of truth in it. He only wrote two books during his life where he tried to reconstruct how the spirit world worked (only based on what his patients told him, which is limited since as we still incarnate on Earth we don’t know all the secrets of the universe). It was quite an enlightening read for me because it confirmed some of the intuitions I had and opened me new perspectives. The scenes you describe resemble the scenes you’d see after dying. Your close ones (perhaps your two friends you’ve seen are close soul friends of yours, who you very well know in the spirit world, and you meet life after life). And this question, how to reassure my close ones, how to reach to them. It’s hard to reach to them once you’re dead because they go on with their life and their mental blockages. It’s hard and takes a lot of skill for a soul to reach to a person, and it requires that person being open somehow to spirituality and feelings and intuitions. Were you about to die then and came back for your daughter? Because you have already suffered the loss of your mother and you don’t want your daughter to live the same trauma? Or was it just to give you a glimpse on other dimensions, to make you have more faith in life and in yourself? Only you can give meaning to this vision! And perhaps there are several meanings, several layers to explore. I don’t know if you’ve always been spiritual or if it is something new. Thank you for sharing all this with me, and don’t hesitate to share more!

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          • At the time of my dream, she was 24 almost 25. No, I am not married nor have ever been. You are allowed to ask me as many personal questions as you wish – some of them I might decline to answer, but don’t let that put you off. hahaha
            Thanks for taking the time to fill me in with your thoughts and of course, I am now curious about Michael Newton – so will Google him!
            To answer your question, I was not about to die when I had this dream – but saying that – there is no particular time/age to die is there? Death is not the preserve of the elderly and terminally ill – we can go at any time.
            I still don’t know why I had such a clear and vivid dream – it could have been because it was the start of a new year, and maybe the spiritual part of me needed that message to say that death is not the end, but while I am still alive, I need to really ‘live’ my life. Also I Googled death/dying dreams and the interpretation was that when you dream that you have died, it is the start of new beginnings, new things in your life, and also discovering new ways of doing things. So the theme here seems to be about renewal, I think.
            Also, my mother died in 1999, so I don’t think thoughts of her passing influenced this dream at all in that I might have still been grieving. But my daughter and I are close, so I would be very worried that she would be bereft to lose me suddenly and at 24 she was still quite young and we had not had any deep discussions about death and coping mechanisms. When my mother died, it was sudden – one day I was talking to her and arranging a visit – the next day she was dead. But although it was sudden, we had talked about death and somehow I was ‘prepared’, if one is ever prepared for a parent’s death.
            To answer another of your questions, Erik, I have always been very spiritual and in many ways I have had to be. I went to a church school and with the amount of suffering from a very young age that I’ve experienced through living with abusive people, I guess, my spiritual side has been what I’ve turned to, to survive much of it.
            I’m sure if I analysed it enough, I could come up with more layers of meaning for this dream, and I’m so glad to have connected with you in this way, because you have given me a whole other perspective which I would probably not have thought about had we not met. There is so much I would love to share with you, but this comment would go on forever, and I’m sure that you are busy writing and doing all the things you love, to read my ramblings.:)
            Do you know how blessed you are to have grown up in a loving home? I was so happy to read that, that was your start in life. I would love for that to have been my start, but it wasn’t to be. I’m lucky to be here really … but that’s a story for another day.
            Lovely sharing with you dear Erik – I feel as if I’ve known you all my life. Strange, huh?:)

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            • Oh yes, you’re right about this symbolic meaning of death! I don’t know why I didn’t think of it while reading this story. It’s a theme that’s been keeping me busy lately. I know I’ve been undergoing a sort of death, but I’m still in that process. I’ve written about it. About the symbolic death of the woman I love https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2017/12/25/death/ about the death and renewal of my own self https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2018/01/31/four-seasons/ and about the fear of jumping, of letting go of control https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2017/12/16/calling-the-name-of-the-wind/
              It’s funny how again our experiences join, how by hearing your story I understand new things too.
              Oh so that’s your daughter on your profile picture in your about page?
              Indeed I was truly blessed to grow up in a loving, stable family. What marked me most is the existential questions that tormented me since I was a kid (I always was torn between believing or not) https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2017/12/12/existential-answers/ and the short wars I lived as well as all the periods of instability, car bombings, and so on which marked me deeply making me afraid of fireworks and barking dogs at night https://erikvincentizakhia.com/2011/04/26/the-game-of-war-play-1/
              Each time I’m relating my experiences to pieces I’ve written because it helps me organize my thoughts, but don’t feel compelled to read them! It’s already a great pleasure having this discussion with you here. I realize I still have an open wound with war, and I need to write another piece about it. It’s deeply healing to write, layer after layer, layer after layer. It needs time.
              After that vision of yours, did you feel your life changing ? It coincides more or less with when you stopped working and started taking care of your blog, doesn’t it ?
              I also feel a familiarity and openness with you! More to discover!

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            • Thanks Erik! I’m going to reply in a little while.:) I see you’ve been analysing my life a little – fuller comment soon, I promise!:)

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            • Thank your time, one day, ten days, as much as you need dear Marie! I need to progress in my writings as well! There’s no urgency 🙂

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            • No, it’ll be sooner than that! Later today! Not sure how Swiss time works – I imagine there’s only an hour or so difference between Switzerland and UK. But I don’t want to interrupt your writing – so whenever I respond, don’t feel obligated to write back right away …

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            • You’re very kind and thoughtful Marie! I’m really glad I met you 🙂 Yes there’s one hour difference! These days, since I’ve stopped working, all my time is pretty much dedicated to pursuing this passion of mine, with the need, the urgency, to produce something for next fall! But people like you help me grow into the person I dream to be. And it is never a loss of time, never a distraction. Thank you ❤

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            • Here I am again! 🙂 Now to your questions: (not in any order – just random – sorry!) After the vision: – I’m not sure in any significant way, life pretty much goes on as it has always done. But there have been subtle changes I guess: I try to be more aware of the spiritual aspects of my life (by that I mean, I tend to have an awareness that oversees the physicality of life here as a human) and because of this I try to relate to others by being more accepting of human frailties – I try not to expect too much of others/myself and to see where they are coming from instead of being quite so dismissive – after all we are all on a journey – some journeys a lot smoother than others, although we all have our trials.
              Coincidentally, as you point out, my blog started around that time, quite by accident – not intentional at all. I just got talking to a relative and she told me how she started blogging and told me how I could do it when I showed interest. The next thing I knew I was blogging and through this (you’ll never believe it!!) I got a message from my mother (who remember had died in 1999), through a blogger called The Skeptic Medium – how fascinating that was!!! I wonder if my mother engineered the whole thing from the world of spirit. In fact that was not the first time – Mother has been quite ‘vocal’ since her passing albeit through others!!
              Yes, that’s my daughter in the photo!
              When you mentioned being born in Lebanon, it hadn’t registered straight away that you would have experienced all that conflict that you talk about. I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through that and that makes me think, that we all go through something here on this planet, whether it’s abuse by our parents or from the wider world – none of us escapes this. and although your childhood was perfect in terms of parenting – the conflict came in another form which has been so traumatising for you. How does one ‘get over’ war – I really don’t know. I pray daily for those living in war and conflict.
              I can’t even give you any advice like you have given me – because I just wouldn’t know where to start. But I suppose I could give you the same advice you gave me – after all trauma doesn’t only respond to one specific type of therapy tailored to heal certain types of abuses – so your advice, give or take a little could be relevant too. So, don’t hate your past, but see it as something from which you can learn and grow.
              I haven’t managed to read all the links you’ve sent, but I will get around to them at some point. I think I’ve been very good reading all the links so far …:)))
              And as you say, more to discover and I very much look forward to that. What do you do when you’re not writing? Do you have many friends in Switzerland? All in your own time, Erik …

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