Blocking love

No you don’t deserve me

you won’t have me

no matter what

 

You won’t have me

I will have everybody but you

you have hurt me too deeply too many times

 

 

When the suggestion of your face lines

of your eyes, comes to my mind

I block it with all my will, all my anger

 

You won’t have me, do you hear?

You won’t have me

 

 

Why should I think of you

Why do you think to deserve me

Why do you think I love you

I don’t, I don’t

I don’t

 

Don’t come any closer

Remain where you are

Go away

Go away

Go away

And never speak to me again

Never again

 

 

And I will bury myself

within this pain

every day that passes

will be equally gray and rainy than the last

and I will delight in my tears

in my sadness

I will be abandoned and alone

but at least your loss will be with me

I couldn’t have you

not as fully and completely as I wanted to

and instead I’ll keep and treasure your memory

as the one I loved so deeply and pushed away

and as tears drown my eyes and stream on my cheeks

I’ll taste their salty flavor

and self-commiserate over my fate

with the consolation that this time

you’ll be as sad as I am