Blocking love

ancienne vie

No you don’t deserve me

you won’t have me

no matter what

 

You won’t have me

I will have everybody but you

you have hurt me too deeply too many times

 

 

When the suggestion of your face lines

of your eyes, comes to my mind

I block it with all my will, all my anger

 

You won’t have me, do you hear?

You won’t have me

 

 

Why should I think of you

Why do you think to deserve me

Why do you think I love you

I don’t, I don’t

I don’t

 

Don’t come any closer

Remain where you are

Go away

Go away

Go away

And never speak to me again

Never again

 

 

And I will bury myself

within this pain

every day that passes

will be equally gray and rainy than the last

and I will delight in my tears

in my sadness

I will be abandoned and alone

but at least your loss will be with me

I couldn’t have you

not as fully and completely as I wanted to

and instead I’ll keep and treasure your memory

as the one I loved so deeply and pushed away

and as tears drown my eyes and stream on my cheeks

I’ll taste their salty flavor

and self-commiserate over my fate

with the consolation that this time

you’ll be as sad as I am

 

 

“Vie antérieure” is a drawing by Chantal Peguiron

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. May you have an inspiring visit!

5 comments

  1. Ouch! Very well written. I feel it!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. That’s saying it strong!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Yes, at some moments the pain is too unbearable and it becomes anger! It’s quite healthy to express it I believe

    Liked by 1 person

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