Blocking love

ancienne vie

No you don’t deserve me

you won’t have me

no matter what


You won’t have me

I will have everybody but you

you have hurt me too deeply too many times



When the suggestion of your face lines

of your eyes, comes to my mind

I block it with all my will, all my anger


You won’t have me, do you hear?

You won’t have me



Why should I think of you

Why do you think to deserve me

Why do you think I love you

I don’t, I don’t

I don’t


Don’t come any closer

Remain where you are

Go away

Go away

Go away

And never speak to me again

Never again



And I will bury myself

within this pain

every day that passes

will be equally gray and rainy than the last

and I will delight in my tears

in my sadness

I will be abandoned and alone

but at least your loss will be with me

I couldn’t have you

not as fully and completely as I wanted to

and instead I’ll keep and treasure your memory

as the one I loved so deeply and pushed away

and as tears drown my eyes and stream on my cheeks

I’ll taste their salty flavor

and self-commiserate over my fate

with the consolation that this time

you’ll be as sad as I am



“Vie antérieure” is a drawing by Chantal Peguiron


About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. May you have an inspiring visit!


  1. Ouch! Very well written. I feel it!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. That’s saying it strong!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Yes, at some moments the pain is too unbearable and it becomes anger! It’s quite healthy to express it I believe

    Liked by 1 person

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