Reuniting with my twin flame – Kundalini Awakening

kundalini awakening twin flames chantal peguiron

And so I went to visit my parents and siblings in Italy

And as days passed I felt closer to my twin soul the writress, even though we had not communicated since almost three months

I felt tingling warmth in my heart, and dreamt of her several times

In one of these dreams she was writing me a long, long letter

As though she added one new chapter each day, but didn’t send it yet

And that gave me hope, the hope of resuming our correspondence soon, the hope that she was growing in her true self

I came back to Switzerland, and I had only few days before another work trip to France involving a pretty long journey by train as I’d have to take a night train to reach Toulouse

The day before my scheduled trip, I was walking back home from my work

And suddenly I had a very clear vision of the writress eyes, she was gazing at me intensely, almost fiercely

and her eyes seemed to say that she had grown in wisdom and that now it was my turn to learn from her, to develop into the person I wanted to become

then the vision vanished, and I was left wondering what it meant, because it had left me a weird feeling of unsaid things

I had to find out what it meant, and I dropped by bag at home and went for a jog, as when I ran my rational barriers lower down and all the tiredness of work vanishes and I can finally think and feel with clarity

My run did not bring me the understanding I sought, instead I started feeling a weird pressure on my head

I sat down on a bench to rest and ponder, but the pressure in my head intensified, and it frightened me after a while

I’ve always had this irrational fear of my head, or something in my head, bursting

And I rose again and walked toward my small flat

I ate dinner without appetite, and then I laid down on my bed, still wondering about my vision of my twin’s eyes, and this strange pressure I had felt in my head

As soon as I rested there, I felt a strange pressure, an energy, awakening in my genital parts

The energy arose from there, and suddenly I felt it in my left leg

My leg was filled with a tension that I could compare to a cramp, but that wasn’t clearly one

I had never felt anything of the kind, this tension was active and it seemed to be elongating my leg, tearing at it

I tried to remain calm; one part of me was worried, but the other was trusting

As I imagined, saw, again my twin soul’s eyes, the tension further intensified

And it reached the right leg too

After a long time, it gained the left and right arms as well

So I was immobilized in my bed by this strange elongating, pulsating energy dancing in my limbs

I felt I could not move, as though I had a generalized cramp or paralysis through my body

I wanted to go to the bathroom, but I didn’t dare, I didn’t know how to move without entangling these threads of energy that were working through me

Eventually the pressure to pee became too strong, and I dared moving, and the strange energy recoiled as a latent tension in my head

Afterward I laid down again, and the energy reinstalled itself in my legs and my arms

And I had a flash of remembrance, a word I had read about a month before, a word that was dancing on my tongue, kundalini, kundalini, that’s what I had

But what was the kundalini, that I didn’t know for sure, all I knew is that it was related to my twin soul, and that it tore at my body as though it wanted to melt the blockages there

Afterwards when I dared moving again, I read about this phenomenon, and what I read elated and worried me

The kundalini is a sort of self-healing energy that starts circulating in your body, trying to eliminate all the emotional blockages that have accumulated there throughout your life and your past life

Usually it is reached only after a lot of kundalini yoga practice, but it can also arise spontaneously as it had in me

And it can be fast, as well as lasting for years and years, and it can be dangerous too if someone who’s not ready tries triggering it in himself

Those were the confused information I read, and all what stuck in my mind was that it was a spiritual happening, that it was related to my twin soul, proving that I had not been crazy to pursue this love for one year and a half

There was something much beyond common understanding and pragmatic reality here, I had the proof in my own body that higher powers existed, things that conventional science didn’t even recognize

And a slight worry remained, that of the kundalini going wrong in me as it had for some people whose testimony I had read

I went to sleep, but barely slept and the next day I packed my luggage, went briefly to work and left for Toulouse

It was eerily strange to continue leading a normal boring life, when extraordinary things were happening on the inside

And I desperately wanted to be freed from work, and I prayed life to soon present me such an opportunity

It was a perpetual suffering not to be free of my time nor of my movements for something I did not enjoy doing

I forced myself to do it well, gritting my teeth and quieting my inner voice which screamed to me to escape, just escape and end this mental suffering

When you have a strong calling and resist that calling, that gift, that dream, tremendous sufferings ensue, and that’s was what I was going through

I couldn’t quit my job right then, even if I took such a decision, I’d need to tell my employers two months before effectively leaving, two months, an unbearable mountain of time to my impatience

And even that move, I didn’t dare doing

So I traveled to Toulouse, taking the train for more than ten hours, and the kundalini continued working through my body in the train

Except that I was sitting, and I felt it didn’t work as efficiently as when I was laying down, and this accumulation of pressure and energy gave me a headache, and I barely slept that night on my cold and hard couchette, not so much because of my physical discomfort, but mostly because of my deaf anguish that something within my head would explode as I felt the kundalini was moving toward there, trying to remove blockages in my throat

During the next days I continued this double life of mine, during the day site visiting for my work feeling the pressure building up in my head, at night and whenever I had a moment for myself laying down and letting the energy flow

These were days of solitude for me, as I did not tell my family about what was happening to me, and the only person who was in the confidence was my best friend the paintress, Chantal, the one who was also undergoing a similar twin soul journey as mine

But she was far away in Switzerland and so I was left to myself

After work I laid down in the hotel, didn’t have much appetite, just wanted the pressure in my head to ease, eager and worried to witness how the energy would move within my body

In two days, the blockage in my throat was removed, then the pressure built up in my heart, making me fear it’d break or stop

but as my physical pain became barely bearable, I started crying thinking of all the sufferings that my twin soul had to undergo when her parents had divorced; she was barely seven year old and entirely left to herself, and her grandfather had died at the same time

I cried for her and suddenly the tearing pressure in my heart was gone and instead I felt a flowing gentle warmth filling me with compassion and joy

This state of bliss didn’t last for long, and soon the pressure returned in my throat, and from there it reached my head, tearing at my skull, my brain, at the level of my brow

It was very scary, but somehow I trusted what was happening to me, I was ready for it without knowing it consciously

The night after the pressure was still there and I felt in a feverish state and it tore and tore, and suddenly the blockage melted and I experienced a deep sense of peace in all my body

In my impatience and my naïve hopefulness, I wondered if the kundalini had succeeded in breaking down all my blockages

No, it had not, and the next day it was still in me, but its mechanisms had become more complex

The first days it systematically initiated from the left leg, but afterward it started initiating from the right leg, then from the left arm, the right arm, the heart

And I read that each limb was related to an organ, each had a different energetic circuit through the body, and I reckoned that the blockages that had been removed were in the first circuit, and now I’d have to undergo this process over and over

And that’s what happened, day after day, new spots of my body came to life, filled with this energy

It’s as though at the beginning all my body was dark and sleeping, and little by little each of its parts started awakening and filling with light

I returned to Switzerland and met my paintress friend, wondering if she too had something similar happening within her

She didn’t show the same symptoms, but roughly at the same time, she started having tears in her eyes and crying for no reason

And she felt it was not her sadness she was living, but that of her twin soul the painter

As though he refused to go through all this sadness that had accumulated in his body, and she lived it instead to help him clearing and healing it

And the strange thing was that no one noticed when she cried in the street, while walking to work, of when she jogged

And when she touched my arm, my hands, she could feel a strange tingle in her body, as though she sensed the energy flow that worked within me

One day, I started telling her l’histoire Lausannoise, the novel I had written with my twin soul

And while yarning my story, I felt an incredible intensity at work within me, I was fully alive with each of my word, of my image

And suddenly she started trembling and crying, and she told me all the heat in her hands had departed and had gone to her head

Her hands were cold, so cold, and for a few moments she felt as though she was dying, as if her soul would abandon her body

She was afraid, and yet it was a beautiful feeling as she felt extremely close from the painter, seeing his true face

Then it left, leaving her in awe and slightly trembling, it was still too intense to live for her at the time

In the next days, I refrained from telling her again the story of my novel, we both worried it’d happen again

And the tears continued to flow from her eyes, and the kundalini pursued its work in me

One evening I went for a run in the forest, and sat under a tree as I had felt a strong pressure on my head

There, the kundalini started flowing within all my body, and soon it became apparent I had a blocked node on my left ankle

The force tore and tore at this node, but the node resisted, and it started hurting

After a quarter of an hour of hurting, the hurt became nearly unbearable, I almost wanted to scream, to cry

The force tore and twisted my ankle, and the node was still there, and I felt as though my body, my leg, were being tortured, and I thought of Jesus Christ on his cross, all his body in pain for humanity

And during one hour I knew what pain was

The next hour, the physical tearing became a warmth, a heat, a burning heat, and I felt as though my ankle was boiling, literally boiling, on fire

And I imagined the witches who had been burnt on pyres during Middle Ages

And the third hour a sort of wind started circulating in my leg, and the wind cooled and quenched the burn, reducing the pain

And when I finally could move the night had already fallen, and I rose on my feet and I marveled I could walk normally with almost no physical remembrance of my pain, except a slight irritation under my sock

The next day, I felt the force working in my ankle again as I laid down on my back, and I prayed not to be in pain, but soon I felt the node melting and energy freely flowed

Afterward I never experienced again such amounts of pain

Sometimes the kundalini was hurtful, sometimes extremely agreeable, and I started trusting it more and more

I knew it worked through my soul, I knew it was helping me to remove my blockages and reunite with my twin flame

What I ignored is how much time and conscious steps toward self-awakening it’d need in order to complete its work

You can read the next chapter here Reuniting with my twin flame – Physical Attraction

If you’re new here, you can start reading this story from the beginning with chapter 1 – The Dream, or the previous chapter The Swan

“Padalinui” is a watercolor painting by Chantal Peguiron

 

 

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. May you have an inspiring visit!

2 comments

  1. Pingback: Reuniting with my twin flame – The Swan | Erik Vincenti Zakhia

  2. Pingback: Reuniting with my twin flame – Physical Attraction | Erik Vincenti Zakhia

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