Meeting my twin soul – first encounter

avant l'épanouissement chantal peguiron

I met her when I expected the least

I was participating to a halloween party in which I knew nobody

Because of this drive to meet the girl of my dream, I often went to parties even if I didn’t feel at ease there

And I went alone because most of my friends didn’t enjoy these rumorous places

And because I thought to myself that if I’d better be alone to be free of my movements, my words, if I met her

So I went to parties, three or four times a year, each time swearing to myself it was the last

I erred like a ghost there, barely drunk a beer, barely dared to dance, never met anyone

My relationship with my body had never been good

It’s not that I didn’t like it, but I felt too awkward, tense, stiff and I thought that other judged me on that

On not knowing how to dance, how to accost a group of persons with ease, on not behaving appropriately, in a cool fahionable confident way which eluded me entirely

So that night I wasn’t expecting much

As usual I’d walk around the night club, trying to catch a pretty girl’s eyes, but never daring to speak to anyone as they all were accompanied and never returned my gaze

I didn’t want to go, so engrossed was I in my reading, but forced myself to as I had bought a sailor hat for a disguise the week before

And so I went, got lost on my way, entered the place

And when I entered, I looked behind me and met her eyes

It was very brief, and I didn’t feel anything special

But she had looked at me in the eyes, and she was alone

I instantly told to myself, if you don’t speak to her right now, you won’t speak to anybody of the night shy as you are

So along the entrance corridor, I breathed deeply to gather my courage of speaking to a stranger and spun my head and greeted her

We started speaking of unremarkable things, the countries we were originary from, our respective fields of studies

As it was an erasmus party, we all were foreigners coming from different places

I didn’t think much of her at the time, and as we ordered a beer I was almost sure she would leave me to join her friends

Until we started discussing of our passions in life, and I discovered that she loved reading, and that her favorites were also mine

And then she told me her dream was writing a historical or fantasy novel

And I was speechless, and all what I could say was me too, me too, and I felt almost foolish in how I mirrored her replies to my questions

I had started writing a historical novel taking place in Lebanon the year before

And somehow I intuitively knew that my dream girl would love reading, and that she would be sensitive to writing too

But I didn’t know she would be a writer too

Who, like me, had chosen a field of study that had little to do with our strongest passion

I looked a lot into her eyes and felt at ease with her, even danced a little without feeling ridiculous, and we smiled a lot to each other

At first I had not found her pretty, I had even thought her face disharmonious

But as we started speaking about who we truly were the disharmony wiped away from her face and all what remained was beauty and intensity

She told me that she was writing about life changing encounters

And for the first time in a very long time I contemplated with myself the possibility of falling in love with someone, with her

And at that moment, she told me she had a boyfriend back in her home country

And I felt it was a cold shower on all my nascent hopes, and I felt frustrated by what I considered as an unfairness

What should the only girl I am genuinely interested in happen to be already engaged

And I left the party with little more than her full name and the vague promise that we might encounter each other again, or might not as the campus is very wide


You can read the next part of the story chapter 4 – falling in love, or go back to the first chapter of this story, meeting my twin soul – the dream


“Avant l’épanouissement” is a drawing by Chantal Peguiron

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. May you have an inspiring visit!


  1. Pingback: Meeting my twin soul – the dream | Erik Vincenti Zakhia

  2. Pingback: Meeting my twin soul – falling in love | Erik Vincenti Zakhia

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