Meeting my twin flame – the dream

fleure intérieure

It all started when I was fourteen and I made a dream

The most striking dream of my life

So strong that I somehow knew waking up that it must be real, that it was actually real

In that dream, a girl was holding me and I was holding her, all our force clenched in this embrace

And it felt like the most perfect and complete embrace that could exist on earth

In her arms I felt entirely at peace, entirely accepted for who I truly am, entirely loved

My schoolmates sniggering was in an instant blown away by this powerful wind

It didn’t matter if people didn’t like me, if they made fun of me because I was different, because I didn’t know how to behave like them, because I didn’t want to conform

It didn’t matter if I felt so lonely and misunderstood, if I had no real friend except my family

No, nothing mattered before the potency of this dream love

In that brief instant I understood there existed a love so deep and powerful it upheaved our existence

In that brief instant I knew that I had to find her no matter what

And I started looking for my dream girl everywhere

 

I somehow knew I would recognize her

Not because I would be physically attracted to her, no it had nothing to do with physical attraction

But because my heart would bleed and cry and dance when seeing her, when looking in her eyes

I knew it would be of an intensity that surpassed everything I witnessed around me

In my teen years, I sometimes was of a deeply melancholic state of mind, without knowing why, without realizing that it was unnatural for a young boy to be so thoughtful, to have such a brooding mood

The only thought that brought real sunshine and warmth to my life was that of meeting her

Each time I went to the New Year’s mass with my parents, I prayed to find her

And for long, long years I didn’t

There was no trace of her

Anywhere

 

With time, I overcame my natural shyness that when I was a teenager made me stutter with everyone around at school, so afraid was I of my peers’ judgmental eyes

I didn’t know how to speak in slang as everybody else, I wasn’t capable of chitchatting

Before speaking I had to prepare the sentences I would say in my mind beforehand

And each time I cursed my stupidity, how socially unfit I felt I was

Later, much later, I became much more at ease with myself when I understood that speaking with others was not an exam I had to pass, but more like a discussion to discover more about them, about their life experiences, about the secret book of their soul

I wanted to become a writer and so I knew I needed these interactions, and I started asking many questions, carefully listening to answers

And in few years I met many close friends, as many as I didn’t have in my entire life, and with each of them the relationship seemed meaningful to me

And yet, despite not being lonely anymore in the physical plane, I continued feeling this loneliness of the heart

I never dated with any girl because each time I would get to know someone from close I’d understand it wasn’t the right person for me

I would go out of my comfort zone, speaking to strangers out of the blue, in the library, in public transportation, each time I’d notice a beautiful face

For I believed that I would recognize her from her face

But each time I was disappointed, the whole did not feel right, they didn’t have the sensitivity I was looking for

 

Almost a decade passed until I met her…

 

You can continue reading this story with chapter 2 – the shadow and chapter 3 – first encounter

 

“Fleure intérieure” is a drawing by Chantal Peguiron

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. May you have an inspiring visit!

40 comments

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  23. I am intrigued by your story, Erik and look forward to reading more.

    Liked by 2 people

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  33. Christoph

    Eric, you said: “…and I made a dream…”.
    Was it in sleep that you had this dream about her? Your poem booklet – the twin flame allegory -, is it close to your own story ? And the paintings from chantal about the boy and the girl – are they showing you and her in the dream ?
    I also had a dream-meeting with an intimate embrace with a woman in a complete darkness. It took 15 years to meet her then actually. And i painted a picture about the dream-embrace with similar colours like chantals picture with tghat red orange yellow sun at the center of the picture.
    Best wishes,
    Christoph

    Like

    • Dear Christoph,
      Thank you for writing me. Yes it was a dream in my sleep. And no, Chantal’s painting picture her and the boy she met, because she lived a similar story to mine. I’d be curious to see your picture with the woman you met, if you want to share it. Have you married, do you live together? Did you paint the picture before or after meeting her?

      Like

  34. Christoph

    Hello Eric,
    Yes, i am married now to her and we live together in germany. I did paint the picture of the embrace right after the dream in july 2000. That is 15 years before i met her. Though the embrace happened in total darkness, the picture tries to convey the reach inner feelings and intimacy by using certain colours and environment. if you give me an email adress i send you a copy.

    Like

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