The black hole and the force

I want to write

I want to write

I want to write

I want to write

Each letter is expanding and colliding with its neighbor, but no reaction is produced from this collision and the long-awaited spark does not come to light

I have almost forgotten the taste of typing on my keyboard, its harsh melody, its quietness, its silence

And the Force is pulling and distorting my face

And my heart is trying to beat with gleefulness, but there’s little to feast about

Where have you been hiding all this time?

You disappeared, drowned by the clouds like the moon, moving silently and effortlessly, gliding through the dark sky and hiding your ever-changing face

Why are you afraid, I wanted to ask you, why are you so afraid?

In want of idea to proceed, I start reading what I wrote from the beginning, but I immediately feel the falsehood of that… and yet, I still do it

But at the same time I know why you are so afraid…

The Force knows it at least

This Force that for three months in a row has been dancing madly in my body, in my legs, in my arms, in my chest, in my heart, in my throat, in my teeth, in my jaws, under my brow, in my spine, and eventually reaching the back of my head, its final destination, where the Everything is hiding

The black hole, that’s how we called it

The place where unwanted memories and undigested feelings go

A nice and warm and cozy castle

But now the Force has put it under siege

It is pulling and pushing and storming its walls, patiently, knowingly, one blow after another, one stone after another

The castle is shaking, but it is offering a fierce resistance

Yielding would mean its end, its final destruction

It has no other choice but resisting, resisting, resisting, gripping my skull with all the might of its roots, winding around each bone like a rainforest snake would with a tree, sleeping night and day on its booty by fear of losing it

The Force is trying to bring light, brightness, understanding

But the black hole does not want of that, it has grown up under the rule of glooms and fears, expanding, expanding, and threatening to engulf everything in its gluttony

And I want to cry, and I want to scream, and I want to laugh, and I want to run, and I want to feel, and I want to write, but there’s no energy left in me, as the Force is besieging the black hole, no other feeling left in me but helpless emptiness

A helpless emptiness endlessly echoing in an infinite emptiness

About Erik Vincenti Zakhia

Dear all, I will share with you many of my poems, short stories, drawings and paintings telling of my journey of self-discovery and my reflections about life, love, art, spirituality, sexuality, kundalini rise, and twin flames. They all fall within the realm of Hazen. May you have an inspiring visit!

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